I am grateful to the author of this thoughtful, vulnerable essay. As a therapist myself, I agree with what you say regarding the lack of critical thinking in our field. In grad school we are taught very little about this and what is taught is one path only ("gender affirming care") and any research we are instructed to read is outdated (published in 2010) and based on adults. But you aren't allowed to ask questions without being accused of causing your non-binary/trans-identified classmates to feel unsafe. It's crazy. I loved what you described in your capstone project as revealing how complex the "trans" community is. This is one of the reasons I think a blanket automatic "affirming" approach is so ridiculous. As the saying goes, if you've met one "trans" person, you've met one.
This very well might be the one, the one article I can send to family members that just might stand a chance of cracking the wall of ignorance without completely alienating me. But it still feels so, so risky.
Simply breathtaking. I am absolutely shocked to read such raw honesty and thoughtfulness. I am in the camp that adults make adult decisions, and children are not adults. We should stop trying to "adult" them.
I think its also true some people will be harmed by not getting the whole truth (sorry to the post-modernist that take offence to the notion of truth). Informed consent means you are informed. When that doesn't happen there should be consequences.
Until now, I thought there was little hope in this space but this personal revelation shared here means there is hope. We need more of this. I have said the moment you make an appointment to see a gender specialist your fate is sealed. It is consumer based non-sense and nuance is a pathetic excuse for not doing the job that involves actual diagnostic exploration - asking why. Thank you for sharing this is vital!!!
You are a remarkably brave and sane person, to have gone through all this and to be able to accept where you find yourself with calm. I feel nothing but anger towards the "therapists" and doctors who are pushing girls and young women into medicalisation, and then washing their hands of the outcomes.
Thank you for such an honest, thoughtful, truthful, compassionate, calm and reasonable look at this issue. Many people who err toward hysteria in this area could learn from it.
1. How many women die annually because they were BORN that way?
2. How many trans women suffer toxic tampon shock, monthly cramps & bleeding, menopausal mood swings, hot flashes & weight gain, fibroids, mastectomies, hysterectomies, gynecological cancers or die in childbirth?
3. What gender "debate"? There is only human reproductive BIOLOGY.
You should know (if you were able read the article thoroughly) that the data is of low quality, so we'll never know how many trans women have mastectomies, for example, - whether it's similar to the number of biological men who have mastectomies, or biological women... I presume that's what you want to know??? I'm not sure what knowing that data would do for you?
Thank you for your honesty and bravery. I’m sorry that this happened. Please know that those of us that agree with you can understand what you have had to sacrifice in order to be truthful to yourself. I believe that you will not be sorry as time goes on. ❤️
Hi there! I'm a trans man, very happy in my transition, and I think I generally agree with what you're saying. I'm so sorry about your experience; I can imagine that living as a male-appearing female as you put it is a hellish gender dysphoria in its own right. This is such an important topic that is too often ignored. On one hand, I understand why the trans+ community is hesitant to embrace these discussions because of the fear that bigots will capitalize on them or that gender-affirming care will be taken away. On the other hand, we should not be silencing anyone's voices. I started hormone therapy at age 18 (I'm almost 22 now). It has been life-changing in countless positive ways for me. When I realized I was transgender at age 17, I had never been more sure of anything, and that still stands true for me. However, I also knew that I had chronic mental illnesses (mood disorders, anxiety, ADHD) that would not be cured by GAC. It has certainly been true for me that GAC has improved my mental health and my overall confidence, and when I have had to go off of hormones (for financial reasons) my mental health has plummeted. However, GAC has not cured my mental illness, though it has reduced my general discomfort and dissatisfaction.
Safe to say our experiences and internal realities are very different, but it is interesting to me that our motivations for transitioning are so vastly different. I transitioned out of a concrete certainty in my own gender identity, and my goal was not to better fit in or be accepted but for my body to match my internal reality. Although my conception of gender has evolved over time (as in, I don't know if I completely agree with the 'born this way' narrative), it has not changed my sureness of my own gender identity. I think those can both be true; I also think there needs to be a lot more room for nuance in discussions about gender identity and transness.
On the note of nuance, not everything about my experience with hormone therapy has been positive. Besides the common obvious side effects like bad acne, over the past year I have developed serious chronic pain that has at points been debilitating. Medical doctors provided me no answers and did not take into account the effects that hormone therapy could be having on my body. In desperation I saw an applied kinesiologist, who theorized that my liver and adrenals, which process hormones, were being overloaded with testosterone and needed to be boosted in order to accommodate the levels that were not naturally occurring in my body. This made perfect sense to me; it was also a huge relief that he did not think I needed to discontinue hormone therapy! He simply recommended me some supplements and my pain has decreased exponentially since being on them. I tell this story because it's something that seems to be largely invalidated by the medical community, which is infuriating. Although GAC HAS been life-saving for ME, I also think people are right to be skeptical, because the American healthcare system is a business, and as such, it simply does not have people's best interests in mind. I don't necessarily blame healthcare professionals, but I do blame the system as a whole. Transgender individuals (or anyone experiencing gender dysphoria) are potential money pots for the healthcare system. Slap a diagnosis on a young person, start them on hormones, and in five or ten years, they might start having chronic health problems associated with GAC that are treated rather than cured (in other words, they make the system more money). Maybe I sound like a conspiracy theorist, I don't really care. All that to say, gender-affirming care NEEDS to be more nuanced, more researched, and more open-minded. Lots of people experience gender dysphoria who are not transgender; that shouldn't immediately warrant hormone therapy or surgery, especially for minors. Therapy SHOULD be explored, not to dissuade people of their identity, but to determine whether or not their desire to transition comes from a place that is sustainable and is not likely to shift in the future. How that can be determined, I'm not certain, but it's something that should be encouraged rather than feared. I also think that, based on my experience with chronic pain and my observations of other trans people (especially ftm trans men), holistic and preventative health for trans people need to be researched more in depth and prioritized for patients seeking GAC. In my opinion, it is a form of medical abuse to just be given hormones and/or surgery without also boosting the body's hormone-processing systems, and medical professionals ignoring people who feel that GAC is causing those kinds of problems for them is a form of transphobia.
Okay, really long rant over. I appreciated your candor and vulnerability. All in all, I believe that GAC needs to be broadened to include psychotherapy to determine motive and intention, and holistic and preventative medicine alongside hormones and surgery.
It is encouraging to hear about people who do reconsider viewpoints when confronted with evidence. I am interested in helping social work as a profession understand a fuller picture of this issue. Let me know if you'd be interested in teaming up in such endeavors.
Sorry for the delayed reply! I have attempted to offer webinars to social work spaces on the filer picture. If teaming up with someone with loved experience I wonder if the free would be better received.
“This wasn’t healthcare, I realized. Or not healthcare as I had always understood it. This was consumer-based care, using the tools of healthcare, where the client was the expert and the healthcare provider was simply a drug dispensery.”
A general problem that is only going to get worse, I fear.
I am grateful to the author of this thoughtful, vulnerable essay. As a therapist myself, I agree with what you say regarding the lack of critical thinking in our field. In grad school we are taught very little about this and what is taught is one path only ("gender affirming care") and any research we are instructed to read is outdated (published in 2010) and based on adults. But you aren't allowed to ask questions without being accused of causing your non-binary/trans-identified classmates to feel unsafe. It's crazy. I loved what you described in your capstone project as revealing how complex the "trans" community is. This is one of the reasons I think a blanket automatic "affirming" approach is so ridiculous. As the saying goes, if you've met one "trans" person, you've met one.
This very well might be the one, the one article I can send to family members that just might stand a chance of cracking the wall of ignorance without completely alienating me. But it still feels so, so risky.
This is a very thoughtful essay. We need to hear more voices like yours.
Very well done. It is rare to see an article that gets both the psychological trauma and the effects of the medical interventions right. Bravo!
Wonderful essay, and I applaud your courage to examine your beliefs.
Simply breathtaking. I am absolutely shocked to read such raw honesty and thoughtfulness. I am in the camp that adults make adult decisions, and children are not adults. We should stop trying to "adult" them.
I think its also true some people will be harmed by not getting the whole truth (sorry to the post-modernist that take offence to the notion of truth). Informed consent means you are informed. When that doesn't happen there should be consequences.
Until now, I thought there was little hope in this space but this personal revelation shared here means there is hope. We need more of this. I have said the moment you make an appointment to see a gender specialist your fate is sealed. It is consumer based non-sense and nuance is a pathetic excuse for not doing the job that involves actual diagnostic exploration - asking why. Thank you for sharing this is vital!!!
I hope you find peace and health. Thanks for writing this moving essay.
You are a remarkably brave and sane person, to have gone through all this and to be able to accept where you find yourself with calm. I feel nothing but anger towards the "therapists" and doctors who are pushing girls and young women into medicalisation, and then washing their hands of the outcomes.
Lmao cope harder
??
Thank you for such an honest, thoughtful, truthful, compassionate, calm and reasonable look at this issue. Many people who err toward hysteria in this area could learn from it.
1. How many women die annually because they were BORN that way?
2. How many trans women suffer toxic tampon shock, monthly cramps & bleeding, menopausal mood swings, hot flashes & weight gain, fibroids, mastectomies, hysterectomies, gynecological cancers or die in childbirth?
3. What gender "debate"? There is only human reproductive BIOLOGY.
You should know (if you were able read the article thoroughly) that the data is of low quality, so we'll never know how many trans women have mastectomies, for example, - whether it's similar to the number of biological men who have mastectomies, or biological women... I presume that's what you want to know??? I'm not sure what knowing that data would do for you?
Yes, because what does it matter women die because they were born that way, do you even know any? 🍏🐍🧙♀️🔥
The same number as trans women who can wean a baby.
Beautiful essay.
Thank you for your honesty and bravery. I’m sorry that this happened. Please know that those of us that agree with you can understand what you have had to sacrifice in order to be truthful to yourself. I believe that you will not be sorry as time goes on. ❤️
Love the turtle pic
Hi there! I'm a trans man, very happy in my transition, and I think I generally agree with what you're saying. I'm so sorry about your experience; I can imagine that living as a male-appearing female as you put it is a hellish gender dysphoria in its own right. This is such an important topic that is too often ignored. On one hand, I understand why the trans+ community is hesitant to embrace these discussions because of the fear that bigots will capitalize on them or that gender-affirming care will be taken away. On the other hand, we should not be silencing anyone's voices. I started hormone therapy at age 18 (I'm almost 22 now). It has been life-changing in countless positive ways for me. When I realized I was transgender at age 17, I had never been more sure of anything, and that still stands true for me. However, I also knew that I had chronic mental illnesses (mood disorders, anxiety, ADHD) that would not be cured by GAC. It has certainly been true for me that GAC has improved my mental health and my overall confidence, and when I have had to go off of hormones (for financial reasons) my mental health has plummeted. However, GAC has not cured my mental illness, though it has reduced my general discomfort and dissatisfaction.
Safe to say our experiences and internal realities are very different, but it is interesting to me that our motivations for transitioning are so vastly different. I transitioned out of a concrete certainty in my own gender identity, and my goal was not to better fit in or be accepted but for my body to match my internal reality. Although my conception of gender has evolved over time (as in, I don't know if I completely agree with the 'born this way' narrative), it has not changed my sureness of my own gender identity. I think those can both be true; I also think there needs to be a lot more room for nuance in discussions about gender identity and transness.
On the note of nuance, not everything about my experience with hormone therapy has been positive. Besides the common obvious side effects like bad acne, over the past year I have developed serious chronic pain that has at points been debilitating. Medical doctors provided me no answers and did not take into account the effects that hormone therapy could be having on my body. In desperation I saw an applied kinesiologist, who theorized that my liver and adrenals, which process hormones, were being overloaded with testosterone and needed to be boosted in order to accommodate the levels that were not naturally occurring in my body. This made perfect sense to me; it was also a huge relief that he did not think I needed to discontinue hormone therapy! He simply recommended me some supplements and my pain has decreased exponentially since being on them. I tell this story because it's something that seems to be largely invalidated by the medical community, which is infuriating. Although GAC HAS been life-saving for ME, I also think people are right to be skeptical, because the American healthcare system is a business, and as such, it simply does not have people's best interests in mind. I don't necessarily blame healthcare professionals, but I do blame the system as a whole. Transgender individuals (or anyone experiencing gender dysphoria) are potential money pots for the healthcare system. Slap a diagnosis on a young person, start them on hormones, and in five or ten years, they might start having chronic health problems associated with GAC that are treated rather than cured (in other words, they make the system more money). Maybe I sound like a conspiracy theorist, I don't really care. All that to say, gender-affirming care NEEDS to be more nuanced, more researched, and more open-minded. Lots of people experience gender dysphoria who are not transgender; that shouldn't immediately warrant hormone therapy or surgery, especially for minors. Therapy SHOULD be explored, not to dissuade people of their identity, but to determine whether or not their desire to transition comes from a place that is sustainable and is not likely to shift in the future. How that can be determined, I'm not certain, but it's something that should be encouraged rather than feared. I also think that, based on my experience with chronic pain and my observations of other trans people (especially ftm trans men), holistic and preventative health for trans people need to be researched more in depth and prioritized for patients seeking GAC. In my opinion, it is a form of medical abuse to just be given hormones and/or surgery without also boosting the body's hormone-processing systems, and medical professionals ignoring people who feel that GAC is causing those kinds of problems for them is a form of transphobia.
Okay, really long rant over. I appreciated your candor and vulnerability. All in all, I believe that GAC needs to be broadened to include psychotherapy to determine motive and intention, and holistic and preventative medicine alongside hormones and surgery.
It is encouraging to hear about people who do reconsider viewpoints when confronted with evidence. I am interested in helping social work as a profession understand a fuller picture of this issue. Let me know if you'd be interested in teaming up in such endeavors.
What did you have in mind?
I’m also an MSW and would like to help social work become deradicalized about gender transition
Please consider joining the Heterodox Academy Social Work Group
https://heterodoxacademy.org/join-hxcommunity/
Sorry for the delayed reply! I have attempted to offer webinars to social work spaces on the filer picture. If teaming up with someone with loved experience I wonder if the free would be better received.
“This wasn’t healthcare, I realized. Or not healthcare as I had always understood it. This was consumer-based care, using the tools of healthcare, where the client was the expert and the healthcare provider was simply a drug dispensery.”
A general problem that is only going to get worse, I fear.